Going through a divorce is as if you are dealing with a death. You grieve the loss of hopes, dreams and life of being married. No one gets married expecting to get divorced. No one imagines they will have to work through the pain and loss of the relationship with a spouse. Divorce is painful and stressful. Everyone grieves through a divorce differently.
No matter if you start the divorce or it is your spouse, there is a great deal of fear of the unknown. Some couples decide before or during a divorce to try counseling. There is nothing wrong with couples giving the marriage one more chance. There are couples who have tried counseling, and it does not help repair the relationship. Counseling is not required in divorces, but some people choose to do counseling on their own to work through their grief and loss. Children can benefit from grief counseling as well.
Once a person goes through the rawness of a divorce, life settles into a “new normal.” The worries of “how do I get through this” ease over time. It does not happen quickly. People do settle in to living on one income and financially supporting themselves and their children. Children adjust to having two homes. New traditions blend in with how holidays, birthdays and other special events were celebrated in the past. Change is okay – it is not easy and it is not quick, but it is okay. The pain of the lost relationship transitions from working through the stages of grieving into a new peace.