It’s generally assumed that since divorce is the last thing any reasonable person wants when they marry, that divorce is just an awful way to end things. Sometimes, however, people have changed so significantly since marrying and grown so far apart that the marriage is a tether that makes both individuals miserable. When counseling fails and fails again, and the relationship is a desert, divorce can actually be liberating.
According to Wendy Paris in her book Splitopia, some people actually get along better after a divorce than they ever did when married. The subtitle of her book is Dispatches from Today’s Good Divorce and How To Part Well. Laws have changed, and attitudes toward divorce have changed. There is less shame in a failed marriage than fifty years ago.
Still, all transitions are a challenge. The divorce process is exhausting and fraught with emotional fatigue that Paris says, “can make small speed bumps feel like high hurdles.” The demands of the process can be overwhelming at times when added to all your other daily responsibilities, but if the two of you choose this path together and bury your hatchets, it will make things smoother.
By seeking mediation and choosing to avoid an acrimonious court conflict, a successful divorce can be achieved without the emotional and financial costs often associated with divorce.